Kathoey: More Than Just a Word in Thailand
When I first heard the word kathoey, I was in a tuk-tuk rattling through the streets of Chiang Mai. My driver pointed out a colorful theater, laughing, “Ladyboy show! Very beautiful!” I nodded, smiled, and tucked the word away in my mind, not quite knowing what it meant. It wasn’t until much later, after more conversations and some reading, that I began to understand: kathoey isn’t just a word—it’s a window into how Thai society sees gender, identity, and tradition.
What Is a Kathoey, Really?
Ask ten different people in Thailand what “kathoey” means, and you’ll get a mix of answers. Some will say it’s a transgender woman. Others might say it’s an effeminate gay man. A few will say it’s both or something in between. That’s part of the beauty—and the complexity—of the term.
In Thai, kathoey has been used for a long time. It doesn’t have a perfect English equivalent. People sometimes say “ladyboy,” but that word is loaded with baggage and doesn’t always sit well with the people it’s meant to describe. It’s important to understand that kathoey is a Thai word, deeply rooted in Thai culture, and it doesn’t line up neatly with Western ideas of gender or sexuality.
Some younger people now prefer more respectful terms like sao praphet song, which means “second-type woman.” It reflects a growing awareness and sensitivity around gender in Thailand. But still, kathoey remains widely used—by society, by the media, and often by kathoey themselves.
A Presence That’s Always Been There
People who don’t fit into the male-female binary aren’t new in Thailand. They’ve always been around—maybe not always celebrated, but not entirely hidden either. In traditional Thai stories and old folk tales, characters who blurred gender lines would show up now and then. They weren’t usually punished or cast out, just… different.
Thailand is a Buddhist country, and that matters. Buddhism doesn’t have strict teachings about gender or sexuality the way some religions do. Instead, people tend to explain things through karma—if someone is born kathoey, it’s often seen as the result of past actions, not a sin or a choice. That can be both comforting and problematic, depending on how it’s framed.
Visible, But Not Always Equal
What struck me most during my time in Thailand was how visible kathoey are. You see them working in salons, singing in cabaret shows, or even walking the streets like anyone else. In many Western countries, transgender people still feel hidden or unsafe in public. In Thailand, kathoey are part of everyday life.
But let’s be clear: visibility doesn’t mean full acceptance. Many kathoey still face discrimination, especially when it comes to jobs outside entertainment or beauty. A kathoey might be adored on stage, but offstage, she could struggle to get hired in an office or be taken seriously in a professional role.
Schools can be especially tough. Uniforms are gendered, and students are often forced to wear clothes that don’t match their identity. Imagine being a teenage girl who’s constantly told to dress and act like a boy. It takes a toll.
The Legal Gap
One of the biggest issues is legal recognition. In Thailand, transgender people cannot change the gender on their official documents—even if they’ve had surgery. That creates all kinds of daily problems. Imagine showing an ID with a male name and photo when you clearly present as female. It leads to questions, stares, and sometimes worse.
There have been efforts to pass gender recognition laws, and activists are working hard, but change has been slow. Thailand is seen as LGBTQ-friendly, and in many ways it is. But the law hasn’t caught up with reality yet.
Family, Faith, and the Everyday
Family is central in Thai life. Some kathoey are lucky and have families who love and support them. Others aren’t so lucky. Parents may feel shame or pressure from their communities. I heard stories of kathoey who were sent away or who left home early because they didn’t feel safe. Still, I also met families who embraced their children fully, no matter what.
Buddhism again plays a role here. It doesn’t preach hate—but it does encourage people to avoid extremes and to seek peace. Some use this as a reason to accept, while others use it to avoid confronting the hard questions.
The Western Gaze and Tourist Stereotypes
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the way Western tourists often view kathoey. For many visitors, their first encounter with a kathoey is at a nightclub or a cabaret show. These shows are dazzling—glitter, music, lights, and energy. But they’re also performances.
Too often, people reduce kathoey to entertainment. They become something to point at, laugh at, or even fetishize. It’s a stereotype that hurts. Being kathoey isn’t about putting on a costume—it’s someone’s life, their identity, their truth.
We have to be careful with the way we talk about it. Curiosity is fine. But curiosity without respect is just another form of exploitation.
Kathoey Voices Rising
Despite the challenges, the kathoey community in Thailand is not quiet. They are speaking up, creating change, and building spaces for themselves. Activists, artists, and entrepreneurs—they’re all part of a growing movement. People like Treechada “Poyd” Petcharat have become household names. She’s beautiful, yes, but also smart, driven, and outspoken. She’s helping to change perceptions one interview at a time.
Online platforms have also given kathoey a voice. Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube—they’re using these tools to share their lives, push back against stereotypes, and connect with each other across the country.
Final Thoughts
To understand kathoey is to step outside rigid definitions. It’s about seeing people for who they are, not who we expect them to be. Thailand’s approach to gender is different—it’s not perfect, and it’s not always fair, but it’s layered and evolving.
So if you ever find yourself in Thailand and hear the word kathoey, pause for a moment. Don’t reduce it to a joke or a tourist attraction. Think about the person behind the word. Her story is probably a lot more complicated—and a lot more human—than you think.
